I went away and came back, and she couldn't get a good picture. I couldn't bring myself to push. I felt more informed, and I felt that that was what I needed in my head to see you know, that I've got to accept now that this, all these things are real on the screen and this was really my baby that's suffering all these things [sighs], but I was sad as well. After half an hour of lying on the bed, I was starting to get nervous, but was excited to find out that the baby would be a boy and that I could see his little heart beating strongly. I sat and waited to be called for my scan. We would terminate the pregnancy. Find more information and details of support groups on NHS.UK. And this baby sort of floated, and occasionally there was a slight movement, but it was very you could almost see that he was really poorly just from looking at the screen. And that was Monday afternoon. No one else but my partner saw how similar he was to our son. There were also two spots on his heart, which were "soft markers" for Down's syndrome. A few people recalled how frightened and alarmed they became when they sensed that the atmosphere in the scanning room changed in an instant from 'jokey' to serious when the baby's problems were detected. Soon, the doctor came and inserted the tablets that would induce labour. I had to take a tablet there and then, under the supervision of a nurse, to end the pregnancy. Did you, how did that scan make you feel? Do you have any thoughts about that? We need to have your opinion'. Public Health England (PHE) created this information on behalf of the NHS. You're in and out and that was it. But it was very evident. This does not mean there is anything to worry about. And I assumed my partner would feel the same. Several parents said they would have preferred being told something, even it was vague. Purpose of screening. News stories, speeches, letters and notices, Reports, analysis and official statistics, Data, Freedom of Information releases and corporate reports. I was young, I didn't need one. And nothing prepares you at all. So, in the end, we said we would arrange our own funeral. Only this time, no cry came. So carried on with the plans, and, you know, planning for the, another baby to come along and then we went for a 20- week scan which is obviously the big one and very exciting, seeing all the arms and legs and once again everything was going fine, 'Look here's the baby, here's the length of baby'. So even if anomolies are found, they don't always mean a problem.. x. I had issues at the 20 weeks scan with both of mine. I noticed the box of tissues on the table. Though the 18-20 week scan can detect when certain parts of the baby's body have grown abnormally, it may not be possible for clinicians to identify why it has happened or make a firm diagnosis based on the scan alone. Which is what I'd seen. The blood test confirmed it was twins. Had 34wk scan last week and all is well - of all the babies found to have a two vessel cord, was told less than 6% experience any growth issues etc. Then, three days later, I would go to the labour ward - the ward I had been expecting to visit in two and a half months. And the doctor - because it was a doctor rather then just the, a sonographer or whatever the correct term is - was scanning my wife, and she hovered over the heart of the baby and said, 'Oh there's the heart, we'll come back to that'. If this happens, you will be offered one further scan by 23 weeks of pregnancy. So we had to go in and out a couple of times, and we were just waiting around for ages and ages. And having read, since read my information on Edwards' syndrome, a good 85 per cent have problems with the heart. The 18-20 week antenatal scan and further tests, Ending the pregnancy for family & personal reasons, Deciding whether to see, hold and name the baby, Photographs and other mementoes of the baby, Saying goodbye to the baby - services & funerals, Coping with bereavement - women's experiences, Coping with bereavement - men's experiences, Men's ideas about their role in ending a pregnancy. Tissue paper will be tucked around your clothing to protect it from the ultrasound gel, which will then be put on your tummy. I am a darker, harder version of myself. The scan yet again confirmed things were not good, however the sac had grown. But before he could speak, he, too, had broken down. Our baby was beautiful. ABDOMINAL CIRCUMFERENCE MEASUREMENT AT 20 WEEK SCAN. I was sat on the sofa working, my son was at nursery and my partner was in the bath. Baby loss stories The people who did know what was going on seemed far too sure that we were doing the right thing, that there was really no choice to be made. And they took us out of the scanning room, into a more quiet room while they typed up the report. Most scans are carried out by specially trained staff called sonographers. So at least then we went to that next stage prepared for the worst really. Where we have identified any third party copyright information you will need to obtain permission from the copyright holders concerned. Instinctively, did it feel right? I give obsessively to charity, especially those linked to sick children. We're still not at the end of our journey, but we're much further along. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, "it didn't look good" and that "my womb looked raggedy". So that was it. Could she possibly have something that's not been detected? I know it sounds odd that you want to hear that it's wrong, but you, you know it's wrong, and you, you want to be reassured either that it's okay or is there something seriously wrong. You might be offered another test to find out for certain if your baby has one of the conditions. I wasn't ready to make a decision straight away, and I was told I could call them in the morning. Scans cannot find all conditions. This publication is licensed under the terms of the Open Government Licence v3.0 except where otherwise stated. Enough for two weeks after he had been cremated. They would then re-test me in two days time. Can't seem to find info on the Internet. The pain was bearable but uncomfortable, the hospital rang me a few days later and asked me how I was. As soon as we arrived, we were shown to this little room. We use some essential cookies to make this website work. And there [sighs] was a very dark patch over one, where the eye socket was, and they didn't know it, in the Edward's babies sometimes the eyes don't develop properly, or it might have been bleeding, they weren't very sure. Next most likely is that baby doesn't co-operate and they can't see some parts of anatomy and call you back 2 weeks later just because they couldn't see (i had this but because twin pregnancy I was due to be scanned 2 weeks later anyway). The first result, which tells you if the baby has Down's syndrome, is ready in three days, but the other chromosomal problems cannot be eliminated for up to three weeks. But you know I knew we had, we had to make a decision that was right for the baby as well. I tried not to sit still for too long, because then I became too aware of the little thing inside me. Sometimes women were told that the sonographer had found a 'marker' or sign of a chromosomal condition and had to wait for an amniocentesis to confirm the findings. Maybe our son would have overcome his problems, survived his illnesses, led a happy life. I still feel guilty, I still cry at random times. I had never imagined having an amniocentesis. Dont include personal or financial information like your National Insurance number or credit card details. It was exactly like the labour I had with my first child. We left the hospital a couple of hours later. I guess the morphine made it easier. That he - I think I was 21 weeks and 3 days, and he was coming up at 19 weeks and 4 days, or something like that. Instead, we were shown to a room slightly away from the rest of the ward and the midwife stayed with us to talk through what was going to happen. We'd just spent some time away on a, on a summer holiday and come back expecting to have this scan and be told, 'All fine. The consultant showed us the letter with our result on and, yes, there were the words "Down's syndrome". We decided that we wanted medication to help me. Mm-hm. Eventually, the midwife said to us very sweetly, "I think we should deliver the baby now." If you are offered further tests, you will be given more information about them so that you can decide whether or not you want to have them. We're going to go and see them. I have horrible thoughts. Entering the labour ward, I waited for someone to say, "Go home, you are 16 weeks too early." For five months my body had known there was something wrong, yet I had felt fantastic. I did think it was a bit strange that she wasn't talking, and then she sort of said, 'Oh, I think there's a problem. Can you remember that minute. It is as though our pain means we've earned the right to be taken more seriously. We went in, had a scan, I can't remember the exact sequence of events because the baby was still in the wrong position. My baby might have Down's syndrome. But for those few days they were torture. There was an extra digit on one of the hands. The termination would be averting a tragedy. I went home feeling crushed; Sam and I both felt helpless. A black and white picture of your baby will then be seen on the ultrasound screen. Laura miscarried her twin babies in February. I would be put to sleep, and when I woke up I wouldn't be pregnant any more. Thick milky discharge at 14 weeks.tmi pic attached. I want to be happy again. Not surprisingly, people aren't quite sure how to deal with me. I was becoming numb to the whole process. The pain was excruciating, but nothing compared to how I felt inside. Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. We felt as if we were in limbo. You will then be asked to raise your top to your chest and lower your skirt or trousers to your hips. We scattered his ashes over a bunch of snowdrops. What would we like to do with the body? My belly was growing and I was feeling great. Health professionals use the 18-20 week scan to examine the baby's size and position, and also to check if his/her brain, heart, lungs and other internal organs are developing as expected. Eventually, the doctor finished the scan and said that some of the baby's measurements were very small. That he was small. So that just left the talipes. So he went out for a walk. I want to stop having such horrible thoughts. So I sort of went home quite, fairly kind of happy and I, at, at this point I hadn't any idea things could go wrong anyway. We needed closure, to allow us to grieve properly. It was sick. It's part of our family. Severe chromosomal conditions such as Edwards' syndrome are now often picked up in the first trimester antenatal screening but itwill usually be more obviousat the 18- 20 week scan, though usually a firm diagnosis will not be made until one or two specialists have weighed up all available evidence about the baby - which usually means that another expert needs to scan the baby again, or until the woman has had an amniocentesis. It was the end of January, very end - about the 29th - I'd gone into, I'd gone into 5 months by then. Sometimes specialist scans such as 3D scans, or MRI scans, are used to examine the baby in greater detail. We talked all night and thanked God for crap television. And they took me to another room and they explained that the baby had what they thought was ventriculomegaly or something. . But worse was to come. I couldn't bear to see the baby and asked the midwife to take him away immediately. Though the 18-20 week scan can detect when certain parts of the baby's body have grown abnormally, it may not be possible for clinicians to identify why it has happened or make a firm diagnosis based on the scan alone. No one else attended and we didn't have a service. b>Bad news at 20 week scan. And at the end of the day however much we talked about it - that it was going to be the two of us to make the decision and me to actually you know, go through it and decide that that was what was going to happen for him - and I just, I didn't want to do it. It felt as if we'd gone underground, that we were part of the criminal fraternity. As I left the room to compose myself. That's fine. I was then told yet again bad news. hi ladies. We didn't feel we could tell anyone what was happening. This article was amended on 24 November 2015 to anonymise the writer. Has anyone been told the sex incorrectly at their 20 week scan? On the next shift, the new midwife asked us again. 17/12/2020 17:13. The scan looks for 11 different conditions in your baby and cannot find everything that might be wrong. And still we asked to see a, Impact of the 20-week and later specialist scans. Originally I hadn't wanted to go down that road. Just wonder whether anyone had ever been told? (See 'Resources'). Next most likely (but actually in the minority) they identify something which whilst not 100% healthy is treatable. Within two days I was waiting in my local EPU unit for further tests. In some very serious rare cases, where no treatment is possible, the baby will die soon after it is born or during pregnancy. This image shows a baby's face and hands at 20 weeks, and gives you an idea of what you'll be able to see at this scan. . An appointment should be arranged as soon as possible and ideally within three working days. It would have been nice to see someone straight away because I was in such shock. Impact of the 20-week and later specialist scans Sam followed and I broke down. Others, including those who had been given leaflets to read about the scan beforehand as well as some who were health professionals, said that they had been nave about the 20-week scan. He felt strong and fit and healthy. The following is a quote from their report: If the scan reveals either a suspected or confirmed abnormality, the woman should be informed by the sonographer at the time of the scan. Most scans show that babies seem to be developing as expected, and none of the 11 conditions are found. She brought up a picture of the heart on the screen. And that was scanning up from the above the head, then you were coming up through the child's head, so you were seeing the chambers in the brain, sort of it was evident in all four chambers of the brain, then suddenly one chamber was empty. I should stop being dramatic and pessimistic. And that was extraordinary to see the detail that that could offer. And I know I can't hurry up the process of grieving. Just doing it. The milk came and stayed for what seemed like for ever. The scan will look in detail at your babys bones, heart, brain, spinal cord, face, kidneys and abdomen. The screen may be directly facing them or at an angle. We bought a two tests that evening (quite lucky as I messed the first one up!). With my oldest it turns out she has a minor thing that affects 1 in 1000 of the population and wont harm her at all it's just "there" and with my second the issue turned out to be nothing. At first, I still had to deal with the physical implications of having given birth. Let a mum know you're thinking of them send one of our personalised Mother's Day cards today, Home Except for the persistent, nagging doubts. We went, I went in to the scanning room and they're quite bland facially anyway, whether everything's fine or not they just look at the screen to start off with and do measurements but I very quickly realised that the woman's demeanour wasn't, even for a bland face, was concerning. And then I can't remember an awful lot more about that scan apart from that feeling of searching of how to react in an unknown situation - your brain's kind of trying to work out what to say, what to do, but I had no idea what to say or what to do and I think my first thought was, does that mean our first daughter's okay? When I think about how long it took them to deliberate ultimately, maybe not, but it just felt like a bit of a fast food situation, didn't it? It was horrible. Finally, Monday came and we went back to the hospital. Some hospitals do offer earlier anomaly scans of the baby, but they will not show as much detail as scans performed between 18 and 20weeks. 15/02/2014 08:02. Some people want to find out if their baby has one of the 11 conditions and some do not. I had to be rescanned latter. You do not have to have the scan. I wrote a few things down last night when we were trying to go over things, just to remind myself. At that point, I got very not upset but quite sort of strongly severe sort of with the people at the hospital saying, 'Look, you know, that's 24 hours, possibly a 48 hours' wait - that's not something that's tenable. But on, in the middle of March, 10th March it was, we had a 20 week scan. We walked all the way home. This time, they discovered the baby has a two vessel cord (only one vessel from placenta to baby instead of two) and I've been monitored to make sure the baby grows properly and kidneys aren't damaged. Living in this world must be unbearable for them. Well send you a link to a feedback form. Never being able to look after himself. She just said, 'It's a bit short, it needs to be checked' again basically. As I say, I'm not a very nice person at the moment. You get extra care and monitoring as appropriate and baby is proactively treated. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. And so, yeah we got to, carried on with the pregnancy, kept seeing the consultant, kept sitting in the waiting room outside, because there was a terribly long waiting time sometimes, depending on what time you had the appointment. But that was too easy. My partner's face was lit up, seeing the baby for the first time. But it is a soft marker for Edwards' syndrome. This one cannot show you anything, that's what's inside your mind. The sonographer then passes a hand-held probe over your skin to examine the babys body. And they actually asked my husband to come in before they spoke to me. As you felt that, you know, it was probably going to show lots of problems and it just wasn't what we wanted, but at the same time we needed to sort of see it and, we needed to prove it I suppose. My partner tried to remain calm, and at my request rang my mum. Cardiac surgery can do some amazing things. The "why me?" Some people had underestimated how serious any abnormality found at this stage could be for the baby. It was all going wrong and I wanted to get as far away from the hospital as possible. If you are not sure, you can contact them and ask. A long process of blood tests, scans, doctors and hospitals. And, it does not occur to you in the slightest. Never lacking a sense of the dramatic, it felt as if we shared the responsibility for the terrible, dirty act that we had committed. The nursery I had selected for our two-year-old son; my maternity leave; the bunk beds; the summer holiday suitable for a newborn baby. How was that scan different from the dating scan? And I went for, I went for a normal 12-week scan, at my local hospital and everything, they said everything was fine, there was no problem. And I felt like a murderer. And I'm glad I did and she's glad she didn't. Some of the conditions that can be seen on the scan will mean the baby may need treatment or surgery after it is born, for example cleft lip. factor is very strong. Back on the EPU unit, a doctor organised for me to be admitted into the ward, to take the medical management under supervision as the sac was now to big for me to safely miscarry on my own at home. The scan will find about half (50%) of those babies who have heart defects. Again the legs were quite twisted, they said that the baby's sternum was very short - things weren't in proportion you know - the head was quite large, the neck was very thick, there wasn't really like a neck as such it was just things were kind of - there were lots of things that obviously the consultant could see that we weren't aware of. Health professionals use the 18-20 week scan to examine the baby's size and position, and also to check if his/her brain, heart, lungs and other internal organs are developing as expected. However, a few hours later there was another shift change. I didn't think my instincts were worth much. Because we knew that that wasn't normal, that wasn't what we'd experienced before, it wasn't just the, 'There's the arm, there's the leg, oh look the baby's moving'. My partner spent the weekend trying to convince me that things were OK. But I still didn't want to be the one who stopped this baby's chance to live. And they took me into another room. In some cases concerns in utero fix themselves sometimes needs treatment. It is impossible to escape them and each one underlines your loss. So and you could see the exomphalus, this little pouch, which was obviously just the intestines where they are. No, we really didn't, with hindsight we probably should have, but not at all, it never occurred to us to be worried about it. Others, including those who had been given leaflets to read about the scan beforehand as well as some who were health professionals, said that they had been nave about the 20-week scan. And, for a few hours, I'm convinced I've made a terrible mistake. By this point I had stopped bleeding, this caused problems. It seemed inconceivable that we would not be having a baby in May. I tried to show him the notes and the photos. So we went home really and I sort of had to think about it all night. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here), tbh, they never give you good news at scans. I had my little leaflet, printed off leaflet about choroid plexus cysts. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. For many other women, the 18-20 week scan was the point at which they discovered the baby had serious problems. All my plans were beginning to fall down. There is always a chance that a baby may be born with a health issue that scans could not have identified. We were bound to each other because of the blood that was on both our hands. . And the next day we went back to the hospital and we had another scan with a specialist, and he confirmed it was a condition called holoprosencephaly, which I'd never heard of any of these words before, they were just such long words. I had hope that the little bumps inside me were fighting just as much as I was to stay with me. Specialist scans I remained positive, we researched lots of cases of mistaken dates, inconclusive scans, and compared them to our situation; scrutinising everything to try and believe it was all one big misunderstanding. They sort of drew some diagrams, and they said, 'But we need to refer you to a specialist to confirm the diagnosis'. Smiling at myself and picturing me and Sam becoming parents. I was saving my child from pain and suffering. The 18 -20 week fetal anomaly scan is a watershed in most pregnancies because for the majority of women it will be the last time they are scanned before giving birth. He looked excited. It is essential that all practitioners performing fetal anomaly ultrasound screening should be trained to communicate abnormal findings to women, as such information is likely to have significant emotional impact. You've had, you've had your Down's Syndrome check and that's okay. Some hospitals do offer earlier anomaly scans of the baby, but they will not show as much detail as scans performed between 18 and 20weeks. This was a ray of hope for us. When he came back, he agreed on a termination. Still, the consultant thought things would be OK. And at that point I don't think we, I don't think we realised that there might have to be a decision, because we'd talked about it with, with Down's and the other possible problems, but at this point it was, well okay what can be done to fix the problem - because yes the heart's not developing properly but there must be something we can do.